Truths and myths about workplace relationships

Me and Ollie have been many things to each other; colleagues, friends, dating-in-secret and then an official couple. And having been together for over a year now, I thought it’d be fun to give a little insight into our relationship (and into my experience of workplace relationships in general) with a bit of myth-busting. This is a post that I've been cooking up for a while and I decided that now was finally the perfect time to write it - make sure you read to the end to find out why...

"You have nothing to talk about"

Myth. Before I got with Ollie and before I worked at UK Meds, I worked at a law firm which was home to a number of married and other romantic couples and I used to think; who would want that? Surely you have nothing to talk about because you spend all day with them and experience the same things so certainly there's nothing left to say? Well, my opinion has done a swift 180 since being in a workplace relationship of my own. Sure, you're there for a lot of the same stuff. But that doesn't mean you experience it the same way and part of the joy of always being around your partner is that you can share your thoughts and ideas, discuss work projects, discuss people and you both know exactly what the other is referring to. When I did work at my law firm, I'd yack my mum's ear off for hours about what I'd been up to at work and who'd been doing what and while she's a fab listener and soon learned who was who through my stories, it's not the same as knowing what you're talking about first hand. Having someone who you can discuss your day with, rather than simply share it, is a gift and one that proved past-tense-Jenni 100% wrong.

"It's hard to separate work and home"

Truth. But not for the reasons that you might assume. Well, not for me anyway. The assumption would be that it's hard to leave home at home and not let your love or your relationship fights interfere with work. I can honestly say that's never been the case. Me and Ollie find it pretty easy to leave our relationship at the door and behave like professionals and colleagues between the hours of 9 and 5. No, funnily enough, it's that it's hard to leave work at work and not let it interfere with your relationship at home. Especially if there's an issue at work or you annoy each other. All colleagues get on your nerves sometimes but what happens when that colleague is also your partner; the person you'd normally moan to about annoying colleagues? The solution I've found is to view them as 2 separate people and remind my brain that you can be annoyed at one and not the other. Separating work from home might be hard, but it's far from impossible.

"You get sick of each other"

Myth. It’s weird, before me and Ollie were living together, we used to see each other on alternate days. And it would feel like such a long time in between seeing each other even though we’d been sitting right beside each other for 8 hours per day. I mean, that’s probably more of an insight into what losers we are/were rather than a comment on workplace relationships but you get what I’m trying to say. Time spent together as colleagues doesn’t feel at all like time spent together as boyfriend and girlfriend, so by the time you get home at the end of the day, it doesn’t feel like ‘eugh, you again’ (luckily). Thankfully, I like him as my colleague and love him as my boyfriend, so all of our time spent together is nice, however different it is.

"You know each other better"

Truth. All people are multidimensional. You have the person you are with your family, the person you are at work, the person you are with your partner, the person you are with your friends (sometimes even different versions with different friends). Being in a relationship with someone is to know the person they are as a partner, the person they are with their friends and the person they are with their family. And for us, we know who each other are at work too. Seeing how someone acts professionally when you know the silly, fun-loving, romantic sides of them is to understand them better (and can also sometimes make you secretly smile to yourself at the difference). I mean what would happen if you fell in love with someone and then find out they’re the kind of person who calls a meeting that could’ve been an email or microwaves fish at work? There’s no nasty surprises when it comes to workplace relationships!

"It's hard to stay professional"

Myth. The good thing about getting together with someone that you work with is that you already know who that person is in a work setting. Something I've noticed about lockdown is that some people have only just learned that side of their partner, even after perhaps years together. Whereas the bonus to getting with someone you work with is that the likelihood is you got with them because you like them and are compatible, and that includes the professional side of them. And part of our initial bond came from the fact that we were almost always on the same page as each other. Of course we don't always agree, but it's important to distinguish a line between having each other's backs and respecting each other's professional independence. Even when we disagree, it doesn't mean anything for our relationship. Like on an SEO issue that we disagreed on and then (most important part), I ended up being proved right. And like the adults that we are, Ollie's love for me was unaffected by me clearly knowing more than him (*insert wink emoji here*).

"Workplace relationships are complicated"

Truth. And myth. Workplace relationships are obviously complicated, but find me one that isn’t. No relationship is without its own set of unique challenges. For me, my workplace relationship has proved itself to be complicated and challenging and exciting and full of love and 100% worth it. And I’m delighted to say that I won’t be in one for very much longer. Not because anything is happening to the relationship, but because we simply won’t be working in the same place anymore. I’ve officially handed in my notice at UK Meds and I feel SO excited to move on to the next chapter of my life. Hasta la vista baby!