Things you should know by the time you're in your twenties

This year marks my 23rd one and although my birthday isn't until June, I think it's fair to say that I'm well and truly in my twenties at this point. Not far enough in that I'm qualified to write 'things I wish I'd done/learned in my twenties', but far enough in that I can write about the things I think you should know by the time you get to where I am. That stage between teenage and adult can be tricky but here are a few things (20 actually, which works nicely) that I've learned and I think you should too.

1. You'll never please everyone

It's a simple (and well-known) fact in life that we are all different. Sometimes, there are people whose personalities you just won't mesh with, views you won't agree with and politics you won't tolerate. And to others, sometimes you're that person. We are all so different that you'll never please everyone so you may as well do exactly what you want! You could make the perfect cup of tea and there would still be someone who would prefer a coffee, or a cold drink, or maybe even champagne (wahay).

2. How to cook at least 3 signature meals

I find it so strange when people in their twenties say they don't know how to cook? Cooking can be as simple or as complicated as you make it and with so many online recipes and ready-made sauces and spice kits, it's not exactly rocket science. Even if you just learn 3 signature dishes, it's better than toast and ready meals every night!

3. You can never own too many pairs of black shoes

Something I'm learning is that if you invest in anything, make it black shoes. Obviously mine are all heels, but even then, I have 8 pairs of black heeled boots alone, and they are all so different. Especially in more expensive shoes, go for black and they won't fail you.

4. Women are allowed to like, and talk about, sex

It's certainly a stigma at school; girls having sex. But it's strange that apparently that stigma follows us around for our whole lives. If a guy is praised for having loads of sex, then why is a girl shamed? It takes two to tango and unless the guys are having sex with each other, then girls must be having it too. Girls who have one night stands don't have to see them as mistakes, girls who want casual sex don't have to have daddy issues and girls aren't always looking for relationships. We just like sex and it should be talked about more.

5. Sometimes you have to make the selfish decision

People always say that your twenties are your selfish years and I certainly agree. If you make decisions early in your adult life to please your family or something, then you'll continue to do so forever. Do things that make you happy and accept that that sometimes means disappointing others.

6. Friendships change and that's okay

You remember when we all used to give each other BFFL bracelets in school? I think we all knew that wasn't built to last. But what can be harder is accepting adult friendships are changing or ending. Jobs come and go, people move cities, others begin to settle down with boyfriends or girlfriends. Friendships change but that doesn't always have to be a bad thing; you can adapt. And if you can't then it's okay to cut people out of your lives who don't enhance it anymore.

7. Everyone is at different stages

Professional athletes like runners or swimmers never look to the side when they race, because to compare themselves to others would slow them down. The same is true of life. Some people go to uni and drop out 3 times before working out what they want to do, others have children at 18, and some are millionaires by 25, but if you're constantly focusing on other people your age then you'll lose sight of your own life. Stay focused on yourself and be content with your own timeline.

8. You're responsible for your own happiness

You can't put your happiness in the hands of anyone else because if you do then you'll never have it. Don't let yourself think that being with someone, or getting a particular job or having a certain group of friends will make you happy. It's down to you in any given minute of any given day, to decide how you feel and I would advise that you decide to be happy.

9. You never stop needing your parents

When you were really young, you needed your parents to put a plaster on your knee when you fell over and to walk you to school. When you were slightly less young, you needed your parents to help you with your homework and to give you lifts. When you're in your twenties? By definition you're an adult at this point but I need my parents all the time; to help me with my car, to read over contracts when I get new jobs, to help me understand tax and money and mortgages. And to take my outfit photos before I go out, of course.

10. You're probably not as grown up as you expected to feel

Remember when you were in year 7 and the year 11's seemed like the most grownup people in the world, but when you got to year 11 you basically felt the same as always? Well apparently that continues to happen for the rest of your life too. By my early twenties, I thought I'd feel like a proper grown-up and yet somehow I'm still not quite there. Maybe this feeling keeps going forever; I'll have to report back on that one.

11. Life has already begun so make the most of it

I see so many people my age talking about what they'll do in the future and things they'd like to do 'one day'. But life is happening now and if there's something you truly want, you should find a way to make it happen now. You don't want to hit your 30's and realise you still haven't got around to any of the things you wanted to do.

12. Your qualifications don't matter that much

At school, they put so much pressure on you to do well in your exams and to choose the university path (pressure that, as you know, I ignored). People ball their eyes out every year when they fail exams, don't get into the uni they want or fail completely. But in my experience, those things only matter while you're there because I've certainly never been asked to produce any qualification certificates at any one of the jobs I've had, and in interviews my college experience isn't even mentioned. It's my experience in the real world, my skills and characteristics and my passions that are talked about and that have got me this far in my career. If you do badly then I honestly wouldn't even worry about it.

13. There are so many office politics and email etiquette rules

It's essentially the working world version of playground pettiness and yet it's essential you know about these things when you start working. 'Kind regards' on an email is good, 'Regards' means they literally never want to see your face again. Tea rounds are a precarious sport, no one likes speaking on the phone and wars have been started over those who microwave strong-smelling food at work.

14. What you like to drink

When you're underage, you drink whatever you can get your hands on and when you're finally legal, you basically drink whatever is cheapest. And although I still go out and get white girl wasted way too often, drinking in your twenties is about drinking for pleasure too. A few sophisticated drinks after work, a cheeky pint on your lunch break, a quiet glass of something on a night in. Figure out what drinks you actually enjoy and go with that.

15. The path to success never did run smooth

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that all you need to do is get yourself on the career ladder and then you're sorted. It's all about getting your foot in the door right? Wrong. Building a career is difficult and you're bound to fail at some point along the way (if not multiple times). Just brush yourself off each time and work hard to get yourself back up again.

16. Money is about what you have, not what you show

In a generation of Instagram-aholics, we all feel pressure to keep up with what we see. But the image you project to the world doesn't always tell the full story; someone with an Audi on finance and no money in the bank may look richer, but it's the person with a battered car that they actually own, with thousands sat in the bank who's actually doing better. Stay quiet, and remember that you're not likely to regret spending your money on doing things instead of buying things.

17. Learning doesn't stop at school

I bet you thought you'd be done with education by the time you left the education system right? Nope. Learning keeps going forever but it actually gets harder because you have to go out and educate yourself instead of being spoon-fed by a teacher or a curriculum. Just this week, I've had to teach myself all about blockchain technology as part of my new job. They do say you learn something new everyday after all.

18. Cheese is the most expensive commodity

When you're younger, you don't pay that much attention to groceries and basically just ask your parents for junk food each week. Well, what a revelation it is when you start going food shopping and realise how expensive things are. The time I found out how expensive cheese is was a tough wake up call.

19. Double beds are for singles

I got a double bed when I had my room done up for my 10th birthday and I've never looked back. If you've been to uni though, you may have been living on a single bed for a while. In your twenties, you realise it's immature to believe that single beds are for singular people; double beds are for singles too.

20. The future isn't so scary

In your early twenties, there seems to be some sort of unwritten, looming deadline. Is it your thirties? Who knows, but we feel a pressure to cram all our triumphs and travelling and achievements into just a few short years in order to judge our lives as a success. But just relax. You don't have a deadline (other than a very literal one, which could come at any time) and life is for enjoying.  The future isn't something to be feared; forever is made up of nows after all.