Jenni from the book

Here we are again. Jenni-the-book-worm has been busy and so here I am, another 5 books down. Which means it’s time for you to hear what I thought about them. Insert the usual ‘spoiler alert' here.

I was really excited about reading this book! It’s about Hannah Martin, a 29 year old who has just ended a messy relationship (with a man she didn’t totally know was married with children) and has moved back to LA (where she grew up) to start over. But on her first night back, she bumps in to her high school sweetheart Ethan and when her best friend says she’s going home, Hannah must choose; leave with Gabby or stay with Ethan? The rest of the book plays out both scenarios in alternative chapters to show just how much our lives can be altered by the seemingly insignificant choices we make. In the version where Hannah stays with Ethan, they get back together and quickly end up in what seems like the perfect relationship, only for her to discover she is pregnant with the married mans child. In the version where Hannah goes with Gabby, Ethan ends up going home with another woman and Hannah is hit by a car while taking a photo, badly injuring her and causing her to lose the baby that she hadn’t known she was pregnant with. While in hospital, not only does Hannah decide that Ethan isn’t the one for her and that they’re better off as friends, she also happens to fall in love with the male nurse who has been looking after her. I found this book really interesting because in both versions of reality, Hannah seems to have exactly the same beliefs as me; she believes in fate, in everything happening for a reason, in soul mates, in destiny and in the power of the universe. However, the author actually gives Hannah completely different outcomes in each life, so she explores the very opposite idea; that our path isn’t set. Interestingly though, in the 3 year flash forward in the two last chapters, there are a number of similarities in the lives of the other characters that suggest maybe the author thinks we do have a fate after all. In fact, Hannah ends up with exactly the same life in both versions, she just ends up with a different husband in each. I was personally rooting for her and Henry (the nurse) the whole way through; there was something about the relationship between her and Ethan that felt very forced. Even though we’re told of this long history they have, the connection doesn’t feel authentic or genuine at all. And the author does cleverly manufacture it that Hannah still ends up meeting Henry in the version where she was never hit by the car, adhering to the idea that some people are destined to cross our paths. The whole book is essentially a comment on the multiverse theory; the theory that says that every decision that every person makes, splits the universe in two and both versions of reality continue to play out. When you flip a coin, it lands both heads and tails and you’re simply living in the universe where it landed heads, but there is another you in a universe where it landed tails. And so on and so on for every single decision that every single person has ever made. Hence, the theory states that there are infinite universes all existing together and yet completely separately. Even though I can appreciate this idea as a concept and I do believe it to a certain extent, ultimately I believe that we each have only one fate, we simply have more than one way to get there. So given my own personal bias, it’s my opinion that the end of the book was not the end of the story but merely the beginning. I like to think that fate was playing the long game in one version of Hannah’s reality.

Now this was an interesting one. I wasn't sure whether or not I would like this because although it fits within the usual rom-com category, it also sounded a bit sci-fi/futuristic which is a bit different from what I usually read. However, I loved it. It's the story of Max and Carys, two twenty-somethings who are living way in the future in a post-apocalyptic-war-world. After the US and the Middle East successfully obliterated eachother in nuclear war, Europe closed their borders and declared that conflict was the cause of all wars, so instead everyone now lives in a state ruled by no monarchs, no religions and no nationalism (thanks to everyone rotating countries every 3 years) - a place where everyone is encouraged to live only for themselves. A part of this way of life (in a place now named Europia), is that you are deemed not old enough to get married, have kids or settle down until 35, so you will continue to rotate and move around on your own until then. When Max and Carys meet and fall in love, they start to wish that they weren't still a decade away from this deadline. When we meet Max and Carys, they are stuck in space with only 90 minutes of air left, far away from their ship with no way to get back. First of all, I really enjoyed how the book was written. In their final 90 minutes, while they try and think of a way to survive, they also hash their way through their memories and through their relationship and so you get their full story from start to finish through a number of flash-backs, from both characters perspectives. It's actually a classic love story and a very modern twist on Romeo and Juliet (which I didn't realise until after I'd finished it). Max comes from one of the founding families of the Europia and he has been raised to whole-heartedly believe in the system. Carys however, was one of the last families to join and she lived in the 'old fashioned' way until 18, causing her to question the system and feel cynical about its value - what's so great about a life lived alone? And while Carys is thriving in her career as a pilot, Max is suffering from unfulfillment working in a shop. Despite the two characters being on opposing sides of the fence and totally incompatible on paper, they fall in love anyway (even though they can't be together). The year and the setting may be different, but some things never change and Max and Carys suffer all the same highs and lows of any relationship, from dealing with his promiscuous past to trying long distance. And while I massively enjoyed the whole book and the way that the author fed the information to you slowly, revealing surprises along the way, it was the ending that I loved. This is a massive spoiler alert so be warned. When they have only 6 minutes left, there is a way that they can be rescued, but they don't have enough time or air for both of them so they are both faced with a choice. And Max chooses to save Carys and sacrifices himself so that she can live. Atleast, that's what happens in version 1. The ending is a sort of groundhog day; Carys experiences that version and the aftermath of Max's death, seeing what her life looks like without him and then they go back to having six minutes. So knowing what she knows, Carys makes a different choice and this time sacrifices herself so that he can live. And again, Max lives out the consequences of this version and sees what his life looks without her, before they once again go back to having six minutes, both armed with the knowledge of what the different possible versions of their futures looks like. And in true Romeo and Juliet style (I should've seen the theme a mile off, there's Shakespeare references throughout the whole book), they decide that life isn't worth living without eachother and while they may have the opportunity to do some good in their lives without eachother, they ultimately won't be happy. It was a very poetic ending and I liked the exploration that in life we have choices and we can see where each choice may take us (whether the author meant this as literal or figurative, I don't know). In the end, it was a story about what the perfect life really looks like and what sacrifices we're willing to make to achieve one.

For some strange reason, I don't like when book title's contain someone's name (I think it's busy and confusing having that and the author name on there too) but the cover of this book jumped right out at me. It's a young adult book about Juniper Lemon (as the annoying title suggests) who is currently dealing with the sudden loss of her older sister. Then 2 months after Camilla died, Juniper finds a break-up letter written by her, addressed to 'You' but never sent. Who is 'You' and why did Camilla keep them a secret? But Juniper is dealing with secrets of her own and when she writes her biggest one down and then loses it, she's afraid whose hands this may fall in to. So she sets out on a mission with two goals; one is to get the index card (containing her secret) back and the others is to find out who You is. As is what usually happens in life, it's not about the destination but about the journey. In trying to find what she's looking for, Juniper uncovers some other people's secrets, makes new friends and even falls in love. I felt like this book was very well written and showed a pretty beautiful and honest story about grief and teenagehood and forgiveness and how complicated it is to forgive the dead and how it can be even harder to forgive yourself, especially for things you can never change. Another reason I felt it was well-written was because the author successfully changes Juniper's tone of voice as time goes on. The book spans from 2 months after Camilla's death to about a year after and the writing style goes from deep in depression and sadness to feeling positive and looking to the future. The thing I really didn't like about this book is that it's never said who You was. The message at the end is that Juniper has found a way in her own heart to be okay with the fact that Camilla had secrets and that it was enough for her to know that her sister was loved, but as a reader it definitely wasn't enough. It made for a pretty infuriating ending rather than the poetic one that the author presumably was aiming for. However, I have my own theories as to who You was (spoilers coming up). Straight after reading the blurb, I immediately thought the twist would be that You was a girl (especially since Juniper assumes it's a guy) but as I read on, I quickly formed my own idea as to who it would be (and always thought that Juniper's guesses were barking up the wrong tree). My deduction is that You was Camilla's teacher, Mr Bodily. It says her and You met on a school trip during the summer, he speaks fondly of her to Juniper, the relationship was a secret and Camilla's letter specifies leaving him at school (as she was set to go to college). This led Juniper to think the guy was younger but I think the reason he was staying was because he was a teacher. And given that my other guesses about some of the other characters and their secrets (including Sponge and Nate) turned out to be 100% correct, I'm going to guess that my You theory is right too.

You may remember in one of my previous jenni from the book posts, that I reviewed a book called After You by Jojo Moyes, which was the sequel to Me before You (which is also an incredible film starring Emilia Clark and Sam Claflin). Well, Still Me is the third and final installment in this book series and was again heart warming and life assuring. Once upon a time, Louisa Clark, a quirky small town girl who has always felt happy to stay in her comfort zone, accepted a job caring for Will Traynor, a cynical and bitter 30-something-year-old man who used to live his life to the max but is now unable to after being paralyzed by a motorcycle accident a couple of years earlier. When Louisa learned he wanted to end his life, she set out to change his mind. The result of which was that Will slowly opened Lou's eyes to the big wide world around her and pushed her to shoot for the stars, and Lou softened Will's hard exterior and showed him how good life could still be. Of course, they fell in love. Yet that still wasn't enough to change Will's mind and adamant in the belief that staying and being with Lou would only hold her back, he went to Switzerland and ended his life. The second book (as you may remember), followed Lou as she tried to grieve his loss while still attempting to live her life in the way that Will had wanted for her. She got a couple of surprises along the way when the daughter he never knew he had turned up, and she even managed to fall in love again. But seeing that she needed a fresh start, book 2 ended with Lou jetting off to New York for a new job and to continue to mend her broken heart, promising that her relationship with Ambulance Sam would survive the miles apart and go the distance. Cue book 3. Now working for the Gopniks as the assistant to Agnes, Mr Gopniks much younger second wife, Louisa is catapulted in to high society, in to riding in limo's, shopping for thousand dollar dresses and living on fifth avenue. But everything is not as shiny as it seems. As if the fact that Agnes is keeping secrets and Sam is feeling further away than ever wasn't bad enough, things get more complicated when Louisa meets Josh who is the spitting image of the ghost a part of her will always be in love with. Things go from bad to worse as New York seems to chew her up and spit her out, but Lou, in her happy-go-lucky way, manages to muddle along as she forms new friendships in unlikely places, finds a safe haven in the treasure trove of the vintage clothes emporium, and tries to reconcile her heart that is currently stuck in two places at once. And when it all comes down to it, Louisa has to ask herself who she really is and what will ultimately make her happy. Once again, the author manages to enhance all the characters we know and love, and this book was a consistent yet very fitting end to the trilogy, with it finally feeling like Lou gets the happy ending she always deserved.

This book kind of surprised me because it was a lot deeper and more serious than I expected. The blurb is "There is no story of me without the story of you. I want to explain it all to you. How this happened. How that summer – the summer I was 16 – made me the person I am today. I want to share my memories with you: the happy memories are like sunbursts, sparkling on the sea. But then, like a current dragging me under, there's that summer of 1997. The summer my life exploded. The summer I had to grow up. The summer you came into my life. And so this is the story of you." And from that, I assumed the book was about first love, maybe a drastic break up (something along the lines of The Notebook). But what actually happened was that Robyn's mum died when she was 15, then she fell in love with a guy called Joe and then she found herself pregnant at 16, before going through a traumatic miscarriage. The book begins 16 years later when Joe's mum has just died and so he reaches out and him and Robyn reconnect (via facebook and then sexually too). Suddenly, Robyn finds that history is repeating itself when she discovers that she is pregnant and at first it seems that she is riddled with anxiety because of the worry of another miscarriage but her scars go even deeper than that. The author slowly builds a bigger picture of the past through a series of letters that Robyn writes to the daughter she lost, as well as through a number of panic attacks and their triggers and (spoiler alert), you later learn that she was raped before falling pregnant, meaning that the child she never knew, could've been Joe's or her attackers. The book was actually much more mature than I expected, with a strong focus on mental health, not only through what Robyn herself is going through but also through the lives and emotions of her patients (she is a mental health nurse). I thought the book was very realistic and the author was careful not to wash everything with a rose-coloured-focus. The ending was heart-warming and yet still true to the kind of happy ending you might be looking for when you bear such scars of the past (both for Robyn and her patients). Ultimately, the book is a story of moving on, moving forwards, forgiving yourself, forgiving those that don't deserve it, of healing and of letting yourself be happy. Overall, it's a story of hope and I think that was a pretty beautiful message.