Why confidence is the most attractive thing you can wear

When you think of the word confidence, it often goes in hand with words such as arrogant, cocky and big-headed. But why is confidence viewed in such a negative way? When really, it's the most positive thing of all.

I can whole heartedly say that I am 100% confident in myself; in my body, in my opinions, in my appearance and in my decisions. Don't get me wrong; I haven't always been. Like everyone else, I went through that 12/13 year old phase of wailing at my mum about being fat and ugly (because she said that a dress I had put on would look better with leggings under it) but I've come a long way since then. That's not to say that I think I'm better than everybody, it's just that I love me for me.

Which brings me on to rule number 1 of self confidence. You have to remember that comparison is the robbery of joy. I see so many girls tweeting about how seeing beautiful girls on instagram makes them feel horrible about themselves. It's simply a fact that there will always be someone thinner than you, with longer hair than you, with bigger boobs than you. But at the same time, there'll be plenty of qualities that you have that they don't. The sooner you start viewing yourself as an entity of your own and stop pitting yourself against other people, the happier you will be. And if there are things that you don't like then the only person you need to try and be better than is yourself. Stop using celebrities with completely different body types to you as 'fitspiration' because by setting yourself unachievable goals, you will only end up disappointed. We should all start celebrating our differences and stop attempting to be total clones of each other. Variety is the spice of life after all!

And of course, confidence starts with acceptance. You can't be totally confident in yourself until you accept yourself for the good, the bad and the ugly. It was easy to accept myself for my intelligence, my tanned skin and my sharp observation skills. But to accept my stubbornness, my spoilt nature and the weird bump on my nose took a little longer. And now I can honestly say I wouldn't change anything about myself, even if I had the option (except I'd obviously make myself richer). And the main benefit to knowing yourself and truly accepting yourself is that it makes it very hard for anyone to insult or upset you. If someone called me fat, I wouldn't care because I know I'm not. If someone called me argumentative, I wouldn't care because I know that I am. It's very hard for someone to point something out that you don't already know.

I can almost guarantee that the more confident you are, the better you'll be treated. That goes for your love life, your work life and your friendships and other relationships. Because how you see yourself is the bar you are setting for how others see you (and ultimately treat you). If you don't believe that you are someone worthy of being treated like royalty, then you will find yourself with friends who take you for granted or in a relationship with someone who doesn't value you. If you know in your heart that you deserve only the best, then that's what you'll demand from the people around you and you won't settle for less. For example, I have always had really good relationships with my boss' and managers because I've always had confidence in my own opinions and my own ideas and my own work and through expressing them, I'm viewed as someone honest and articulate whose opinion is valued.

And possibly the most simple fact of them all; confidence is attractive! Even if you're not attracted to the outwardly-confident, loudest-person-in-the-room type, chances are that you're attracted to someone who is self assured and comfortable with themselves. Someone who constantly doubts themself and doesn't believe you when you give them a compliment can be very exhausting. And while we're on the subject, the worst kind of people are those who are obviously confident enough to post a photo of themselves on social media, but then when someone writes 'you're pretty' on it, they reply with 'no I'm not'. If you're confident enough to post it in the first place then stay quiet.

And while those people annoy the hell out of me, I would never feel the need to comment and attack them for it. Being confident not only means that you don't compete with other people, but it also means you don't need to try and tear others down either. Self confidence is about pushing yourself up, not about dragging other people down. The saying 'people who are nasty to you are just jealous' goes a certain way to being true; I think it's more that people who are malicious towards others are just unhappy in themselves and the bad things they say about you, really says more about them. Obviously there will always be people you simply don't like - not because of jealousy or any issues but just because your personalities don't mesh well together. Just accept it, and either be civil or don't interact. And in the same way that you can accept that there are people you just don't like, you have to accept that some people just won't like you either. There are 7 billion people on this planet and you can't expect to please all of them so as long as you like yourself, that's all that really matters. Because if you live by people's praise then you'll die by their criticism so be sure to always back yourself and remember that the only person's opinion of you that matters is your own, and you've pretty much got the recipe for a happy life.